Why Christine Yu Should Stop Writing Forever

Hello there fine feathered students!
It's not very often that I suggest someone should stop writing forever, but I feel that in this case, it's necessary. If anyone has read Christine Yu's article in the Tech, "Talk Nerdy to Me", or her really, REALLY lame blog, you know two things: 1) Christine Yu writes on the same level has mentally handicapped fourth graders, and 2) Christine Yu doesn't know the first thing about proper sex, or proper sex etiquette. Also, every single (and I mean EVERY GOD-AWFUL) thing she writes contains at least one incredibly bad joke in it. When I say incredibly bad, I'm talking want-to-shoot-yourself-after-killing-a-busload-of-kittens bad. She assumes, I guess, that everyone at MIT will find it funny if, in every single article, she mentions over and over again that "love is not a formula" or "love is not like math". I get it. Love is not a formula, or math, or related to electron orbital theory, or Hess's law, or quantum theory, or whatever else it is that MIT teaches me. I get it that love is something different altogether. Why do I know this? Because I have more than three brain cells. Honestly, we don't have to be told over and over again the exact same thing, especially if it's told in the exact same lame way each and every time.

I used to have hope for people, I really did. I used to have hope for the love/sex lives of people on campus. And then I read Christine Yu's column. You know, maybe the Tech has increased the number of people who read their paper because of her article, but they should know (or rather, Christine should know) that among the majority of people that I talk to, it's seen as a joke. She is a joke. Christine Yu is like "your mom", whatever she said, and that chicken that has a penchant for crossing roads. She's a joke, a cliche, a horrendous fallacy that causes most people to either laugh at the hilarity of her ignorance and inability to write, or cry at the pathetic-ness of it all. Sometimes, I do both.

I suggest that Christine Yu stop writing indefinitely. I don't know many people who like her, I don't know many people who like her writing, and I know for a fact (from her own articles) that not many people like her sex. If she's supposed to be writing about sex, wouldn't one assume that she should either be good at it, or at least know what she's talking about? Seriously, why doesn't the Tech get someone to write who actually has good sex? Why don't they get someone to write who knows what it feels like to be pleased, who knows what it feels like to please, and who knows how to tell other people how to improve their lives, not just how pathetic it is to be Christine Yu. Seriously, when it comes to how much sappy pathetic whining I can take, there's definitely a limit.

See? Math jokes aren't funny when I make them, either.